October 28th, 2023 The FNAF Movie
HI BLOOOG. WAVES MY ARMS AROUND LIKE ONE OF THOSE CRAZYINFLATABLE THINGS YOU SEE AT CAR DEALERSHIPS. THIS MIGHT BE THE FIRST TIME IN A BIT THAT I HAVE TWO BLOG POSTS LIKE RELATIVELY CLOSE TO EACH OTHER BECAUSE IIII AM PLANNING TO ALSO WRITE ABOUT MY HALLOWEEN EXPERIENCE !! HALLOWEEN IS MY FAVORITE HOLIDAY AAAND TO AVOID RAMBLING, I WAS ESSENTIALLY ROBBED OF IT LAST YEAR. PART OF THAT WAS MY OWN BORDERLINE BEHAVIORISMS BUT THAT IS A STORY FOR ANOTHER TIME. ANYWAYS. HALLOWEEN! A BITCH IS REAL EXCITED!!!
NOW ONTO WHAT THE BLOG IS ACTUALLY SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT: I SAW THE FIVE NIGHT'S AT FREDDY'S MOVIE TODAYYY!!! I'LL WRITE MY SPOILER FREE REVIEW IN THE NEXT PARAGRAPH AND THEN WRITE MY FULL REVIEW AFTER THAT, UNDER A CLICKABLE SPOILER. SO THERE'S NO WORRIES ABOUT ACCIDENTALLY SCROLLING DOWN TOO FAR OR TRYING TO SCROLL PAST IT AND READING IT. SPOILER DOES USE JS AND IF YOU HAVE THAT DISABLED, YOU SHOULD JUST BE ABLE TO HIGHLIGHT TO REVEAL IT ANYWAY.
FOR MY SPOILER FREE REVIEW... HOOOLY SHIT, I REALLY REALLY LIKED IT !!! I'D SAY THAT I WENT IN WITH KIND OF HIGH EXPECTATIONS AFTER SEVERAL FRIENDS DESCRIBED IT VERY POSITIVELY AND I WAS DEFINITELY NOT DISAPPOINTED. I WAS ENTHRAWLED THE WHOLE TIME AND THERE WERE DEFINITELY A FEW TWISTS AND TURNS WHERE I WAS WONDERING WHERE THE HELL THEY WERE GONNA GO WITH THIS BUT THEY MANAGE TO MOSTLY PATCH EVERYTHING UP IN THE END. THE LORE WAS NOT FOLLOWED DIRECTLY (I THINK THEY MADE THIS CLEAR A WHILE BACK) BUT ENOUGH REMAINED THAT IT STILL UNDENIABLY FELT LIKE FIVE NIGHT'S AT FREDDY'S. IT LEANED VERY HARD INTO THE LORE WHICH I THINK A LOT OF FANS WERE REALLY THANKFUL FOR BUT IT DEFINITELY STILL HAD SOME WONDERFULLY CHEESY SCARES AND DEATHS. ALL IN ALL, AS SOMEONE WHO'S FIRST HORROR GAME AND FIRST FANDOM IN GENERAL WAS FIVE NIGHT'S AT FREDDY'S, I HAD AN ABSOLUTE FUCKING BLAST. I FEEL LIKE I'M EIGHT YEARS OLD AGAIN.
WELCOME TO THE SUPER SECRET ZONE. ANYWAYS. FIRST OF ALL: HOLY SHIIIIIT I COULD SING MY PRAISES FOR SOME OF THESE SCENES FOR FUCKING HOUUUUURS, UNIRONICALLY. MY FAVORITE BY FAR (AND I DON'T CARE IF THIS IS A BASIC ANSWER) IS WHEN AFTON'S SPRINGLOCKS FINALLY KICKED IN AFTER CHICA'S CUPCAKE RIPPED THE PART OF HIS SUIT OFF. I GUARANTEE THE SHEER SECONDHAND DREAD I FELT AS THE FIRST RIB LOCK CLICKED INTO PLACE WAS SHARED WITH, LIKE, OVER HALF THE THEATER. IT FEELS LIKE THEY REAAAALLY STRETCHED THE PG-13 RATING HARD AT THE END, WHICH WAS UNEXPECTED. THE FACT THAT THEY MADE IT JUST AS UNCOMFORTABLE AS THE CANON AUDIO RECORDING WITHOUT IT BEING NEEDLESSLY GOREY WAS HONESTLY VERY IMPRESSIVE AND I COMMEND THEM FOR THAT. ALSO WILLIAM'S REVEAL IN THE FINAL ACT WAS VEEEERY WELL DONE ON ITS OWN. ADDING THE ICONIC 'I ALWAYS COME BACK' EVEN TIED IT UP WITH A LITTLE BOW, IN MY OPINION. A LITTLE DISAPPOINTED THEY DIDN'T GO THE FNAF3 ROUTE AND BURN THE WHOLE FUCKING BUILDING TO THE GROUND, HOWEVER. I WONDER IF THAT WAS AN ALTERNATIVE ENDING. I ALSO LIKED THE FIRST FEW CHEESY DEATHS WITH THE AUNT'S EVIL BLACKMAIL SQUAD OR WHATEVER. THE FUCKINF CUPCAKE. I ALSO DIDN'T REALLY NOTICE ANY OF THE PACING GRIPES THAT FOLKS HAD?? MAYBE IT WAS BECAUSE I WAS JUST THAT ZONED IN, BUT I DUNNO. THE STORY AND THE NARRATIVE EVOLVED REALLY REALLY WELL IN MY OPINION AND THE SYMBOLISTIC REPITITION OF MIKE'S DREAMS WAS SUUUPER COOL. I GUESS ONE OF THE FEW DISAPPOINTMENTS I HAD COMING OUT WAS THE FACT THERE WASN'T ANY JUMPSCARE REFERENCES AS FAR AS I REMEMBER. FEELS LIKE A MISSED OPPORTUNITY. ALSO THE PUPPET TEASE AT THE END MAKES ME STUUUUPIDLY FUCKING EXCITED. WHEN I HEARD THE FADE FROM THE LIVING TOMBSTONE (WAS FUCKING ECSTATIC TO HEAR THAT TOO) TO MY GRANDFATHER'S CLOCK I FELT THE CHILD IN ME SQUEAL. PART OF ME'S THANKFUL THIS MOVIE WAS DELAYED SO LONG BECAUSE I KNOW I WOULD'VE WISHED I WAS ABBY SOOO FUCKING BAD. I WANTED TO BEFRIEND THOSE EVIL FUCKINF KILLER ROBOTS, TOO.
WAS A WONDERFUL EXPERIENCE. IT'S NOT OFTEN THAT MEDIA THAT ISN'T FILM IS TRANSLATED SO WELL AS ONE, AND THIS WAS A PLEASANT SURPRISE. IT DIDN'T TAKE ITSELF TOOOOO SERIOUSLY AND I CAN ALWAYS RESPECT WHEN MOVIES DO THAT. IN CONCLUSION: GO SEE IT IF YOU'RE ON THE FENCE. YOU'LL HAVE FUN
THAT'S ALL FOR NOW !
HOONIS ~