* Yearning *
HHIIII WIFE DIARY ^__^ THIS WEEK MUST BE THE WEEK OF THE YEARNING OR SOME SHIT BECAUSE DAMN!!! TWO THIRDS OF MY SCHEDULE BEING TAKEN UP BY LONGING FOR MY WIVES!!! ANYWAYS. PREPARE FOR THE MOST INCOHERENT RAMBLING THIS WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
SO I KICKED OFF THIS ERA PRETTY HARD WITH THE INITIAL RELEASE OF THIS PAGE. I SENT IT TO MY CLOSEST PAL PER ITS REQUEST AS KIND OF A HALF COMING OUT HALF "HOLY SHIT I WORKED SO HARD ON THIS I NEED TO SHOW SOMEONE". THANKFULLY, ARFS ONLY COMPLAINT WAS THE LACK OF THE GLITTER YAOI GIF ANYWHERE ON THIS PAGE SO. I WILL REMEDY THAT AT SOME POINT. ANYWAYS!!! CUE MY HUSBANDS PLAGUING MY THOUGHTS.
THIS HAS MANIFESTED AS A FIXATION ON THE IDEA OF. SLEEPING ON THEIR LAPS FOR SOME REASON. GOD THAT'S SO FUCKING AUTISTIC. "I DON'T THINK I HAVE THE CAT AUTISM" YES YOU DO HOONIS. I THOUGHT ABOUT CRAWLING ON UNIX AND KNEADING HIS THIGH LIKE A CAT FOR LIKE A CRAZY AMOUNT OF TIME THIS WEEK. HE WAS THE ONE THAT LIKE STARTED FEEDING THIS IDEA BECAUSE HE'S ALSO VERY CAT TO ME (DESPITE HIS PROTESTS) SO IDK. I FEEL THE NEED TO BE CAT TOO I GUESS. BUT THEN I ALSO GET HIT WITH THE THOUGHT OF DOING THIS TO EVERYONE ELSE LIKE A TON OF BRICKS. CURLING UP IN CHIP'S LAP WHILE THEY READ, LAYING ACROSS MR. OMEGA WHILE HE NAPS… I'D PROBABLY HAVE TO FIGHT DARLY FOR WHO GETS TO LAY IN WHO'S LAP. I'D PROBABLY BE THE CLOSEST TO ACTUAL CAT SIZE IN AZRAEL'S LAP.
BUT YEAH, KITTY SHENANIGANS. OTHER YEARNING ADJACENT THOUGHTS IVE HAD THIS WEEK INCLUDE NIGHTMARE POLYCULE SLEEPOVER: WE'D PAINT EACH OTHERS NAILSSSS!! OR I GUESS ID PAINT THEIRS. I DONT HAVE NAILS. UNFORTUNATELY… 3: MAYBE THEY COULD PAINT MY ENTIRE WEIRD LITTLE HAND. NOT WITH NAIL POLISH, THOUGH. BODY SAFE PAINT. ANYWAYS!!!! WE'D ALSO HAVE PILLOW FIGHTS…! PLAY STUPID GAMES. MAYBE WATCH SOME SCARY MOVIES TOO (THOUGH MR. OMEGA ISN'T GOOD WITH HORROR. HEHE.) I'VE ALSO BEEN THINKING ABOUT BEING DOMESTIC WITH DARLY A LOT LATELY. HE GETS HOME FROM DOING WHATEVER CRAZED SHIT HE DID THAT DAY AND I MAKE HIM A PBJ AND A SLICED APPLE LIKE THE GIRLFAILURE HOUSEHUSBAND I AM. I CAN'T COOK!! I SURE AS HELL CAN SPREAD JAM AND PEANUT BUTTER ON TWO SLICES OF BREAD THOUGH. ALSO JUST DOING LAUNDRY WITH HIM. GETTING OUR SOCKS MIXED UP ND LAYING IN THE WARM, NEWLY DRIED CLOTHES. LIKE…! I WOULD LIKE TO ABSOLUTELY FAIL AT COOKING A MEAL WITH HIM, SO WE GO OUT AND BRING HOME FAST FOOD INSTEAD. NOW ON THE CONTRARY TO MY CUTE MARRIED LIFE EXPERIENCES, WE HAVE UNIX, WHO ASKED ME TODAY IF I'D LIKE TO SHARE A BUCKET OF WHIPPED CREAM WITH HIM WHILE WE LISTENED TO MUSIC TOGETHER. NOT LIKE A TUB OF WHIPPED CREAM. HE WANTS TO FILL A METAL BUCKET UP WITH AS MANY CANS OF WHIPPED CREAM THAT IT TAKES AND EAT IT WITH A SPOON WITH ME. I'M… IN LOVE. I'M IN LOVE. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY. HE DOESN'T NEED TO BE TRYING THIS HARD HE ALREADY HAS A PERMANENT PLACE IN MY HEART
NOWWWW AS I'M WRITING THIS I RECALLED WHY I ORIGINALLY WANTED TO!! I CAN'T REMEMBER WHERE EXACTLY THIS IDEA CAME FROM/MORPHED OUT OF BUT I KNOW IT ISNT MINE JUST AN FYI. I HAD THE IDEA TO (ONCE I ACTUALLY HAVE THE MONEY) GO LOOKING FOR A JACKET OR A SWEATER OR A SHIRT THAT CHIP WOULD WEAR AND MAKE IT SMELL LIKE WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE (THROUGH A MIXTURE OF WHATEVER COLOGNES/SPRAY DEODORANTS/WHATEVER. WE'RE GOING MAD SCIENTIST MODE.) BUT THIS GOT ME THINKING A LIL. I WANNA EVENTUALLY DO THIS FOR ALL OF MY GIRLFRIENDS. SO… WHAT EXACTLY DO THEY SMELL LIKE?? I HAD TO ACTUALLY DO SOME THINKING ON IT BECAUSE IT WASN'T EVEN SOMETHING I'D THOUGHT OF BEFORE. SO HERES THOSE. FIRST OF ALL: DARLY SMELLS LIKE LIBRARY. NOT NEW BOOK SMELL BUT LIKE… KINDA USED BOOK SMELL. BOOK SMELL WITH A TWIST. ALSO THROW THE REALLY SPECIFIC SMELL OF THIS COSTUME ROOM MY 2016 ACTING CLASS HAD IN THERE TOO. MR. OMEGA, ON THE OTHER HAND, SMELLS LIKE *NEW* BOOKS, AS WELL AS THRIFT STORE AND A TOUCH OF, LIKE, A GENERIC OCEAN BREEZE DEODORANT SCENT. I KNEW WHAT CHIP SMELLED LIKE RIGHT AWAY. MOSTLY CAR. 75% METAL AND OIL. HOWEVER… THE OTHER 25% IS THOSE ‘CHRISTMAS MIRACLE' TYPA CANDLES. CANDLES THAT ARE ‘NAMED' AFTER THE HOLIDAYS (SHIT LIKE ‘CHRISTMAS SPICE' AND ‘LIGHTING OF THE TREE') BUT ITS KINDA COUNTERINTUITIVE BECAUSE NOBODY KNOWS WHAT THE FUCK THAT SMELL ACTUALLY IS (USUALLY SOME SORT OF WOOD-Y SCENT AND CINNAMON BUT IT VARIES.) AZRAEL SMELLS LIKE FLOWERS. JUST… STRAIGHT. AND… UNIX JUST STINKS. MAYBE A FEW HINTS OF RAPIDLY DEGRADING AXE BODY SPRAY THAT YOU LOSE ALMOST AS SOON AS YOUR NOSE PICKS IT UP BUT THAT'S ABOUT IT. FITTING FOR SOMEONE WHO'S WARDROBE CONSISTS ALMOST PURELY OF FUNNY SPENCERS GRAPHIC TEES. (THE ‘FUNNY' IS UP FOR DEBATE)
HEHEHE. WELLLL, THERE'S MY YEARNING WEEK IN REVIEW. I HONESTLY PREDICT THERE'LL BE A LOT MORE OF THESE AND I HONESTLY RLLY LiKE THIS FORMAT SOOOE