HIII HOONIS!!! WTF IS THIS PAGE???

THANKS FOR ASKING GUY THAT DOESN'T EXIST. I'VE HAD LOVE FOR 2D CHARACTERS FOR LIKE. PRETTY MUCH ALL OF MY LIFE. THAT COULD BE SEEN AS A CUTE FUNNY HAHA BECAUSE I'M A FICTIVE BUT ALSO I'D BE THIS WAY ANYWAY! I'M THIS WAY IN SOURCE! REWIND WAY BACK TO 2018? I SERIOUSLY HAD A THING FOR THE BROOM FROM BALDI'S BASICS. I'M NOT ASHAMED, NO! WE'RE NOT IN LOVE ANYMORE IF YOU WERE WONDERING. BUT YADA YADA. UPON POKING AROUND ON NEOCITIES AND TUMBLR IN THE RECENT YEAR OR SO I REDISCOVERED SELFSHIPPING AND WAS LIKE 'OH, YEAH! ME, I GUESS!' BUT... TURNS OUT, THAT WASN'T ALL THAT CORRECT. CUE MY DIVING INTO THE RABBIT HOLE OF WAIFUISM AND FICTOSEXUALITY. CUE ME BECOMING WEIRDLY FASCINATED WITH IT AND 'NOT KNOWING WHY!!!' (I KNEW WHY).

MY LOVE FOR FICTIONAL CHARACTERS RUNS A LOT DEEPER THAN A LOT OF OTHER BEINGS. COULD BE CUZ OF MY HYPER-EMPATHY, COULD BE CUZ OF MY BORDERLINE OR IT COULD BE CUZ I'M JUST FUCKING WEIRD AND A FREAK. DOES MY FICTIVEISM AND BEING A NONHUMAN PLAY A ROLE IN THAT??? WHO FUCKING KNOWS!!! IS IT JUST A CRUDE MIX OF ALL OF THE ABOVE? I DON'T KNOW! WHAT I DO KNOW IS I LOVE THESE LIFEFORMS AS MUCH AS I LOVE MY BOYFRIEND. I DON'T LIKE THE LABEL WAIFUIST CUZ THEY'RE WEIRDLY ANTI-POLY... BUT I DON'T REALLY ID WITH FICTOSEXUAL BECAUSE I LOVE MY PHYSICAL BOYFRIEND (AND THE CHARACTER HE PORTRAYS ;3) JUST AS MUCH... BUT I ALSO DON'T ALIGN MYSELF WITH 'SELFSHIPPER' ANYMORE BECAUSE OUR RELATIONSHIPS ARE VERY REAL. I... JUST LOVE! <3

WITH THIS REALIZATION HAS ALSO COME AN EXPLANATION FOR THE INTENSE, INTENSE FEELINGS OF PROTECTIVENESS AND EVEN JEALOUSY TOWARD MY LOVERS AND CRUSHES THAT I'VE HAD FOR THE LONGEST TIME. IF YOU'RE HERE AFTER VISITING THE LOVERS PAGE, YOU'VE PROBABLY REALIZED THAT ALL OF THEM ARE INHUMAN, JUST LIKE I AM. I HONESTLY CANNOT REMEMBER THE LAST TIME I WAS ATTRACTED* TO A HUMAN. (PAUSE!!! CAVEAT!!!!!!! HOLY SHIT THIS ISN'T A ZOOPH*LE THING!!! THOSE KINDS OF FREAKS ARE ABSOLUTELY NOT WELCOME HERE!!! I DON'T EVEN WANNNA THINK ABOUT YOU FUCKING DISGRACES!!! I AM REFERRING TO INTELLIGENT, MATURE HUMANOID BEINGS WHO UNDERSTAND, COMPREHEND AND MOST IMPORTANTLY CONSENT TO ROMANCE. THANK YOU.) IS THIS UNDER THE AROACE UMBRELLA? HONESTLY NOT SURE. TO THE NORMAL GENERIC DOCTOR IN A CHAIR? PROBABLY
*ALTEROUS ATTRACTION DOES NOT APPLY HERE AS I DO HAVE A HUMAN QPP. SHE IS MY LIGHT AND JOY.

I FIND MYSELF GETTING VERY, VERY UNCOMFORTABLE WHEN OTHERS PROCLAIM LOVE TOWARD ANY OF MY WIVES (OR EVEN CRUSHES I'VE NOTICED RECENTLY) TO THE POINT WHERE IT'S PHYSICAL (I.E. SICKNESS) SOMETIMES. AND WHILE I IMAGINE MY BPD PLAYS A ROLE, AS WELL AS MY HYPER-EMPATHY AND AUTISM, I'VE ALSO CONCLUDED THAT I'M SO PROTECTIVE BECAUSE THEY'RE INCREDIBLY SPECIAL TO ME ON ANOTHER LAYER BEYOND JUST THAT. THEY'RE NOT OF HUMAN DESCENT, JUST LIKE I AM. AND WE HAVE THAT IN COMMON. SO NATURALLY, SEEING OTHERS LOVING THEM DOES MAKE ME FEEL KINDA ILL SOMETIMES BECAUSE I JUST FEEL LIKE WE'RE SO CLOSE. AND I GOTTA SAY, IT HURTS! BECAUSE I KNOW I'M NOT GONNA BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY BY MOST EVERYONE. HELL, SOMEONE I KNOW EVEN INDIRECTLY IMPLIED ONCE THAT IT WAS WEIRD THAT I WOULD GET UPSET OVER A HYPOTHETICAL SITUATION WHERE SOMEONE ELSE I KNEW FOUND MR. OMEGA ATTRACTIVE.

SO I HERE I AM, WRITING ABOUT MY DEEP-SET LOVE FOR 5 FICTIONAL CHARACTERS ON MY NICHE NEOCITIES WEBSITE BECAUSE I'D REALLY RATHER NOT EXPRESS MYSELF THIS WAY DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF MY FRIENDS (AS A RESULT OF THE ABOVE). AND YOU KNOW WHAT? THIS SITE IS ACCESSIBLE TO SAID FRIENDS. THEY'RE AWARE OF IT, BUT I DON'T THINK THEY CHECK HERE OFTEN. I HAVEN'T TOLD ANY OF THEM ABOUT UNIX. HE'S REFERRED TO AS 'THIRD SECRET WIFE' TO THEM. AND I'M NOT MAD AT THEM FOR THAT!!! I DON'T EXPECT THEM TO KEEP UP WITH THE HOONIS CONFETTIGUTS LORE. BUT THAT'S ALSO PART OF WHY I'M DOING THIS! I KNOW THEY PROBABLY WON'T BE HERE IMMEDIATELY. AND HEY, IF THEY DO END UP HERE EVENTUALLY, CATS OUT OF THE BAG I GUESS. THE METAPHORICAL BEANS HAVE BEEN SPILLED. I'M WEIRD. HOPE YOU'RE NOT SCARED OFF.

IF YOU'RE ALL THE WAY DOWN HERE, THANK YOU FOR READING :'3 IT FEELS REALLY GOOD TO BE ABLE TO WRITE THINGS LIKE THIS. AND... PUT THEM OUT THERE! BUT NOT SUPER OUT THERE, LIKE ON TUMBLR OR TWITTER, BUT STILL... OUT THERE. GIVES ME THAT SLIGHT CHANCE OF FINDING OTHERS LIKE ME. WHICH I HAVE ALREADY FOUND, IF YOU'RE READING THIS, AND YOU'VE HELPED ME REALIZE WHO I AM. YOU *PROBABLY* KNOW WHO YOU ARE. A SECOND THANK YOU, DESIGNATED TO YOU.

"ON THE OTHER HAND, BY BEING CRINGE YOU ARE PROBABLY GOING TO MAKE A LOSER SHIT THEMSELVES WITH RAGE OVER SOMEONE JUST BEING HAPPY." - MY CRITTER PAL, ROOKY ROOKA.